“We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs - or we don't. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality- or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha's opinion, to train in staying open and curious - to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs - is the best use of our human lives.”
- Pema Chodron
Wise Women, I invite you to consider the following statement:
“All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.”
-don Miguel Ruiz
What is your reaction to this statement? Do you agree with him? Or do you think its insensitive or overly simplified? If the latter, you are not alone. I, too, have struggled with this and some of don Miguel’s other statements. However, after reading and re-reading the Companion Book to the Four Agreements as well as The Fifth Agreement “be skeptical, but learn to listen”, I have learned to appreciate the truth of his work. It is undeniable that we suffer when we take things personally and make assumptions, and that doing so causes us to live in world of separation - a world where forgiveness of self and others seems virtually impossible.
“Our senses are imperfect and according to the testimony of the Ayurveda, nine out of ten conclusions are simply wrong. Our objectivity is reduced to 10%. Judgement leads to separation. Acceptance and forgiveness lead back to unity.”
- Ulrich E. Dupree “Ho’opononpono, The Hawaiian Forgiveness Ritual
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”
“There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. Being right is identification with a mental position – a perspective, an opinion, a judgment, a story. For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong, as so the ego loves to make wrong in order to be right.”
- Eckhart Tolle
“The problem with making assumptions is that we believe that they are the truth. We could swear they are real.
We literally dream things up in our imaginations. Because we don’t understand something, we make an assumption about the meaning, and when the truth comes out, the bubble of our dream pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all. If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something that we don’t understand, we make assumptions about what it means and believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.
Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.
Have the courage to ask questions until you are clear as you can be, and even then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation.
Find your voice to ask for what you want. Everybody has the right to tell you no or yes, but you always have the right to ask. Likewise, everybody has the right to ask you, and you have the right to say yes or no.”
-don Miguel Ruiz
I would like to thank Cynthia from our Monday evening circle for bringing forward a MOST profound teaching that powerfully links this agreement with forgiveness!
“Dear (me, a person’s name, a situation),
I forgive you for not being the way I want you to be. I forgive you and I let it go.”
-Louise Hay
Nurture the Seeds of Transformation
Don’t make assumptions. It sounds easy but it is very difficult.
It is difficult because we have so many habits and routines we are not even aware of. Becoming aware of these habits and understanding its importance is not enough. Information or an idea is merely the seed in your mind. What will really make the difference is action. Taking the action over and over again strengthens your will, nurtures the seed, and establishes a solid foundation for the new habit to grow. After many repetitions these new agreements will ascend nature, and you will see how the magic of your word transforms you.
When you transform your whole dream, magic just happens in your life. What you need comes to you easily because spirit moves freely through you. This is the mastery of intent, the mastery of spirit, the mastery of love, the mastery of gratitude, and the mastery of life. This is the goal of the Toltec. This is the path to personal freedom.
-don Miguel Ruiz
Prayer of the Lotus Nectar
Beloved Kuan Yin, help me realize the connection to myself and to Life that I need to be able to live my highest vibrational life, where I am well, replenished, joyful and connected to the endless flow of divine energy and life force in our Universe. Please bring me clear guidance about how to best cultivate chi now, how to be open to receive the Nectar of the Lotus, the life force and love of the Divine Mother, for my highest good, so be it. Om Mani Padme Hum.
“Om Mani Padme Hum”
This is a powerful heart opening mantra.
It means ’the opening of the jewel in the lotus,’ or ‘may the heart awaken with divine compassion and may I know myself to be an awakened being of light’.